I really love watching Shuler Hensley as Jud in the London stage revival of Oklahoma!
I always forget how much Jud creeps me out until I get into the movie (either one). I am just as frightened by him as I am by any other cruel or terrible movie villain I can think of. There's something disgusting about him but still awfully sad, like you want to understand what he's thinking - when Curly goes and visits him ("Poor Jud is Dead"), you wonder why he was so angry, and if maybe things could have been different if the visit had never happened.

This reminds me of something I've been thinking about again.

Right there on the list between "bake a pie" and "speak more Spanish", it says "marry Evan."
I can get to that after I... knit a sweater? Graduate from high school?
He wouldn't have me.
Seriously though. I'd be his beard, right? A beautiful sex-less marriage of convenience. So awful and important to me. He'd just be sitting there wallowing in how fuuuuuucked up it is and enjoying it - just like he'd imagined (seriously glamorously twisted). No rings, no kids, nothing tangible. Jut us, living in a house together, and he'd play his guitar and get high while I get terse and ugly and make dinners. And eventually we split up and I can cut my hair and meet somebody else and think to myself while I fall asleep in their apartment, I was married to him for a while, and isn't that what I wanted all along?

thingks to thingk about

"Tomorrow or another day something will happen that can and will upset what I thought I had learned before. What is to be learned anyway, except love and respect for others and yourself? And, of course, Nutella"
- Pierre Carrilero


On a scale of one to deep, the personality of my mind gets about as treacherous as the pond on my grandparents' old property in Parkland. Charming enough to look for polliwogs in, dirty enough to keep your feet out of, safe enough to linger by.